I’ve just weighed myself and I’m on the verge of tears. I’ve known for a few weeks that I’ve been putting weight on; since stopping work I’ve not been moving around as much and my clothes have been getting tighter and tighter, but I just didn’t want to step on the scales to see the actual damage. I was in semi-denial.
I made a non-resolution a few days ago to make some positive changes in my life. My health isn’t great and a lot of it is down to what I eat and the fact I don’t do any exercise. Something has to change.
Now Christmas is well and truly over and I can no longer use that as an excuse to eat and drink myself into a food coma, today is the day I had decided to weigh and measure myself and enter it all into my phone apps to keep track. I suspect I’m not alone – it’s a bit of a cliche, isn’t it, to start a new healthy-eating regime and try to lose weight after the first bank holiday of the new year? The adverts on the television are testament to that: gym memberships, tablets, books and diet plans everywhere you look!
But, cliche or not, for me personally, I can’t carry on any longer eating whatever I want however I want. It’s taking its toll and it’s making me miserable.
So, this morning I stepped gingerly onto the scales. My scales only weigh in pounds or kilos and I’m a stones gal, so although I knew the number was way too high, it wasn’t until I’d converted the pounds that I realised just how high. Disgusting. I’ve been very heavy before, but there’s painful story attached to that – maybe one day I’ll share it. And I’m almost as heavy as that now, which has frightened me.
What I really wanted to do was cry, then think ‘f*** it’ and stuff my face with biscuits to make myself feel better. But that’s what I’ve been doing for the last couple of months and look where it’s got me!
So, I made a cup of hot water with a slice of lemon, sat down and put the offending numbers into my app and began writing this post so that by making it public, I can be accountable to those of you reading this. Next, I’m off to the supermarket to stock up with lots of fruit and veg and later I’m going to rearrange the kitchen so that all the naughty stuff (it’s for the kids, ok?!) is hidden away.
I WILL do this!