Today’s date, 30th April is one that it permanently etched on my memory. There are quite a few dates like this, memorable for different reasons. 30th April is not a happy date for me. It’s the day I started dating (we called it ‘going out with’ in my day) my first real love.

“But that’s a happy memory, surely?” I hear you say. It was, for a while. It was our ‘anniversary’, an occasion to celebrate. A chance to look back on the past year and reminisce about the good times we’d had.

Only, as the years went on, the good times became fewer and fewer. There was no celebrating. The 30th April rolled around and getting to the next one became a test of endurance rather than something to look forward to. I felt like marking it off on a hidden spot on the wall, like an incarcerated prisoner in a movie.

Because that’s exactly how I felt; trapped. Locked up, hidden away. It was no life for a young girl, who watched on sadly as her friends grew their wings and flew their nests, off to university and new lives, new loves.  It’s a long, painful and difficult story to tell, and I do want to tell it someday.

But, for now, I’ll try to get on with it. I am angry that, even now, almost 20 years later, I can’t forget today’s date and the others that played a part in that chapter of my life. The next one is 10th October. Perhaps I’ll be able to tell the whole story then. I need some closure.

Mummy Times Two
I Wish Some Dates Weren’t As Memorable As They Are

5 thoughts on “I Wish Some Dates Weren’t As Memorable As They Are

  • 7th May 2017 at 2:34 pm
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    It sounds like you have a long story to tell, and although it may not be easy, it will hopefully be theraputic. here is to hoping you find the strength on 10th October to tell your story… but only once you’re ready of course! #PostsFromTheHeart

    Reply
  • 3rd May 2017 at 9:29 pm
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    I hope you will find the right time to write about it and that you’ll find it therapeutic. #postsfromtheheart

    Reply
  • 2nd May 2017 at 3:08 pm
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    This is a really brave piece, it sounds like you have been through a lot. I’m glad you found a way out and hope you manage to find closure soon. Sending much love. #PostsFromTheHeart

    Reply
  • 1st May 2017 at 2:06 pm
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    I think you’ll know when the time is right to tell your story. I think it can be really therapeutic writing about things and can help stem feelings. That said, I’ve often started writing about difficult things only to find that it’s too much and I delete it again. I would have to do a 10 part blog post to cover the annoyance I feel over one aspect of my life!
    Laura recently posted…Philosophy Series: Can suffering ever make you stronger?My Profile

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