I don’t do New Year, and I don’t do new year’s resolutions. It’s just another day. I don’t usually stay up to hear the bongs of Big Ben as I am always too tired and I know there will be at least one smallperson up incredibly early on New Year’s Day. I don’t make resolutions because I think if you want to change something about your life, it needs to be for the right reasons, not just because it’s a new year. And if you want to change it, why wait? Plus, who even sticks to resolutions anyway?
However, the approach of 2017 feels different to most new years, and I’m pretty sure this has to do with the fact that this is the year I turn *whispers* …forty. I’m in a reflective mood – big birthdays will do that to you. This time, January feels like a good place to start with some areas to focus on (not resolutions – let’s not call them that!).
1. Lose weight
I know, I know. This is probably the number one on many peoples’ lists. But I really, really do need to lose weight. I’m a big girl. And I’ve got even bigger since I stopped work and don’t move around as much. My clothes – already a size I would rather not be – are starting to feel very uncomfortable. I didn’t want to be fat at forty, but, with my birthday only 6 weeks’ away, I will be. However, I am determined I will not be fat at forty-one. I need to get fit and healthy for my kids. Big keeps asking to go swimming. I keep putting him off as I can’t face squeezing myself into a swimming costume and revealing my bingo wings, mum tum and wobbly thighs. It aint gonna be easy; I’ve lost a lot of weight before with a slimming club (and then got pregnant again), but I don’t want to do it that way this time, for a number of reasons. I know what I need to do, but I need to find the willpower to do it. I need to eat better and move more, which leads me onto number 2…
2. Exercise more
Another cliche resolution, but again, something I must do. Currently, I do zero exercise. Nothing. I am ridiculously unfit and I have been using lack of time/money/painful body parts as excuses for too long. I have plenty of time. I don’t need money, as I can do lots for free and I need to push through the pain of my hips and back as I’m pretty sure once I get moving and begin to lose weight, they won’t hurt as much anyway. I plan to get out and walk once I’ve dropped the kids at school, and I’ve asked for a bike for my birthday. I might even get my glowsticks out and go back to Clubbercise classes. Whoop whoop!
3. Drink more water
This is another one that I hope will have an effect on my physical health as well as my mental wellbeing. I’m pretty sure if you cut a vein I’d bleed tea. I’m not bad at drinking water in a ‘if it’s not tea or wine then it’s water’ kind of way, but I don’t drink enough of it. Nowhere near. So yep, that’s on the list.
4. Stop stressing
I suffer with anxiety and it’s a bitch. It’s one of those things that you know about, but find it really, really hard to do anything about. It makes me stress over the silliest, smallest of things, as well as the bigger stuff, so this year I’m determined to tackle it and stop sweating the small stuff at least. If I can do that, I can focus more on the bigger stuff – hopefully in a more proactive, less stressy way.
5. Do more of what makes me happy
I struggle with the guilt of doing things for me. I feel that I should be focusing on my family first and, whilst it’s true that they are important, there’s a saying that’s popular among special needs parents: ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’. I need to learn to take care of myself first so that I can do the best job for my family. So, this year I aim to do more of what makes me happy. I love taking photos, so I’m going to learn more about photography and get out there and do it. I love reading, so I’m going to spend time doing more of that in the day, rather than a few minutes each night before falling asleep, kindle in hand. I’m going to see more of friends and spend more time with The Hubby. I’m going to go to the cinema – alone if I want, just because. I might book an appointment to get my nails done, or have a massage or a facial. And I plan to write more too!
I’ve been struggling with being me in recent weeks. I’m fat, unfit, in pain and, frankly, not very happy. Only I can change this, and I’m determined to go into my 40s (ack, still can’t get used to that!) with a positive mental attitude. I’m going to be a walking (cycling/swimming) cliche, but if I can make it past January, I might stand a chance. Wish me luck!